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Loss of Employment

With the decline in cognitive and physical abilities less job can be handled. Therefore, people go to part time work, yet knowing with their continuing failing health the end of this tid bit of employment is just a matter of time. Or, they are told they are no longer performing up to standard and are dismissed. Or, if they need every ounce of their energy, just to survive, they quit their job. Each is a loss of employment. 


When our cognitive and physical self has changed so much as to rob us of our abilities to perform our "job" we will experience much loss and change.  We will lose income, all our daily work friends and acquaintances, a job we may have enjoyed very much, the having something that filled at least forty hours of our week, the loss of familiar routine,  the loss of feeling good about our daily achievements, and the loss of part of our identity...  And we may not even know why we lost our ability to perform our job. That in itself is perplexing. 

Automatically this change creates great stress. Financially it creates anxiety, tight budget or poverty.  With less money it affects our social activities, our spending, our buying of anything new, our financial goals... We may even lose our  possessions such as home, vehicle, etc.... Debts pile up to create more worry. Sometimes bankruptcy must be declared and our good financial reputation we had worked so hard to build now goes out the window. And, of course, our self esteem take's a plunge.


If you lost your employment as a result of your cognitive and physical losses, what changes and losses have you experienced as direct consequence?
 

  • Today, could you still perform in this job with your present health?
    • To give yourself closure, take the time to list all of your losses as a result of employment loss.
    • Now, say your final good bye to each individual thing you have written down on your list and at the same time  make yourself say what you will miss about each of these things. 

        When we lose a job we sometimes feel rejected, a sense of failure, or that we no longer belong. We feel displaced, dejected, sometimes very angry towards our former employer. We will be angry at our body for failing us, and angry because we have less money to spend on the things we so enjoyed. Angry because we lost all we owned .... 

        We feel kicked in the gut at a time when we are down and too weak to do anything about it even if we wanted to.

        We are embarrassed to have lost our income status, our job and our position. We feel different, less then those in the workforce. We had once upon a time called those without a job "losers" and having that belief in our heads now we have that same opinion about ourselves.

        We are afraid of what our family, our children our friends think of us.  We are afraid we will not be able to maintain our basic necessities, provide for ourselves in our retiremnt years, or feed our family and pay our bills. 

        We can't sleep or we sleep too much. Our routine schedule changes, along with our eating habits. We have eight hours of empty time on our hands, with no extra money to fill it with, with no energy to do things to fill it with. Can't even think of finding a job because we feel very sick, yet we feel our body and mind has defeated us. ... And, we  have all day for our mind to think and feel, think and feel, think and feel... In short ... worry.

        We bargain if only I had been given another chance, if only I had been given the right medicines, if only I'd been stronger... We feel deflated, defeated and powerless... We feel helpless, hopeless and we are sad and maybe downright angry or horribly depressed. These are all signs we are in the grieving process. Grieving for the loss of our employment. 

        Once we have gone through the grieving stages we will reach acceptance and life will become what it is now. The what if's will have been rationally answered by ourselves. The anger will have dissipated and hopefully the depression will have lifted. We will have accepted our loss of our former employment.

        We can choose not to grieve for the loss of our employment and remain in the ifs, the anger and depression so we can live the rest of this segment of our road of life from the standpoint point of victim. Or, we can chose to grieve the loss of our employment and when we do our eyes will turn away from the past of what was. We will detach from the energy draining emotions and now be free to see today... to live in the today rather then in the illusionary past that no longer exists. Now, we will be able to see what is in our today and see that inspite of it being different life goes on and this is our life to make the best of it today with what we have now. We get the opportunity to experience our lives in a very different way. We learn things we would never have learned in our life of employment. We can take stock and manage what we do have left to live with in this particular segment of our road of life. We strive to do  the best with what we have and to enjoy the new challenges, and we learn to laugh again, in spite of loss and illness. In short..we excercise the only power we have. "The power of choice!"

        Are you still angry at a former employer, your self, or someone else because of the loss of your employment?

        Who?


    Shock....Denial....Bargaining.....Anger.... Depression.... Acceptance 


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