When we lose a job we sometimes
feel rejected, a sense of failure, or that we no longer belong. We feel
displaced, dejected, sometimes very angry towards our former employer.
We will be angry at our body for failing us, and angry because we have
less money to spend on the things we so enjoyed. Angry because we lost
all we owned ....
We feel kicked in the gut at a time
when we are down and too weak to do anything about it even if we wanted
We are embarrassed to have lost
our income status, our job and our position. We feel different, less then
those in the workforce. We had once upon a time called those without a
job "losers" and having that belief in our heads now we have that same
opinion about ourselves.
We are afraid of what our family,
our children our friends think of us. We are afraid we will not be
able to maintain our basic necessities, provide for ourselves in our retiremnt
years, or feed our family and pay our bills.
We can't sleep or we sleep too much.
Our routine schedule changes, along with our eating habits. We have eight
hours of empty time on our hands, with no extra money to fill it with,
with no energy to do things to fill it with. Can't even think of finding
a job because we feel very sick, yet we feel our body and mind has defeated
us. ... And, we have all day for our mind to think and feel, think
and feel, think and feel... In short ... worry.
We bargain if only I had been given
another chance, if only I had been given the right medicines, if only I'd
been stronger... We feel deflated, defeated and powerless... We feel helpless,
hopeless and we are sad and maybe downright angry or horribly depressed.
These are all signs we are in the grieving process. Grieving for the loss
of our employment.
Once we have gone through the grieving
stages we will reach acceptance and life will become what it is now. The
what if's will have been rationally answered by ourselves. The anger will
have dissipated and hopefully the depression will have lifted. We will
have accepted our loss of our former employment.
We can choose not to grieve for
the loss of our employment and remain in the ifs, the anger and depression
so we can live the rest of this segment of our road of life from the standpoint
point of victim. Or, we can chose to grieve the loss of our employment
and when we do our eyes will turn away from the past of what was. We will
detach from the energy draining emotions and now be free to see today...
to live in the today rather then in the illusionary past that no longer
exists. Now, we will be able to see what is in our today and see that inspite
of it being different life goes on and this is our life to make the best
of it today with what we have now. We get the opportunity to experience
our lives in a very different way. We learn things we would never have
learned in our life of employment. We can take stock and manage what we
do have left to live with in this particular segment of our road of life.
We strive to do the best with what we have and to enjoy the new challenges,
and we learn to laugh again, in spite of loss and illness. In short..we
excercise the only power we have. "The power of choice!"
Are you still angry at a former
employer, your self, or someone else because of the loss of your employment?